Wednesday, November 23, 2011

When it pours...

There have been times in my life when everything feels so very light.  When the sun shines in every corner & moments float by like dandelion fluff, unhindered by gravity, as things fall into place.  Magic & fleeting, I have learned to notice these moments and recognize how fortunate I am to experience them.

Then... there are those other times... when it feels like everything is falling down at once.  When the dark, gray clouds roll-in & it doesn't just rain, it pours.  Things beyond our control conspire to bring unexpected expense, unwanted change & swirls of uncertainty.  Gravity tightens its hold on all that it touches.  The logical, reasonable side of me understands that this is all just a part of being alive... the yin/yang, ebb/flow, give/take of the universe.  The emotional side?  Not so understanding.  It prefers a good wallow... passive, tearful, toddler-style tantrum ending in a grand pity-party.  It can be so easy to get caught in the why? trap.  Why me? Why now? Why us?

One of the first waves of accepting Quinn's Down syndrome sounded exactly like this... a great big bunch of why?s.  Having been through that swirl & come out the other side - better, stronger, wiser - helps us to face the other inevitable challenges that show up in life.  One of the biggest gifts of being Quinn's parent has been the re-defining of what it means to face a challenge.  It's not just slaying a dragon & living happily-ever-after.  It is facing that dragon & the next... & the next.  It is making a choice to move forward, no matter how hard it feels.  It is picking yourself up, leaving the pity-party, and confronting head-on whatever comes next.

The timing of this particular storm brings into sharp contrast what is important & what is not.  This week that focuses on gratitude & giving thanks is the perfect balance to the stormy days.  Our little family is happy & healthy.  Husband & I have found an even deeper level of in-love-ness and partnership.  Two little boys keep us laughing & in wonder of what we have created.  And a tiny boy in my belly grows bigger each day, the promise of new life bringing rays of brightness on darker days.  This is what really matters... a little blond head resting on my shoulder as I write this.  Snuggling close... oh wait... he is charming his way to ask if he can play a game on my iphone.  Little stinker has me pegged.

We don't know what is around the corner... or how exactly we will weather it... but weather it, we will.  In this exact moment we are grateful, giving-thanks & facing dragons together.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Big Fat Fall Picture Post

The days are getting shorter... literally and figuratively... and finding time to write has been beyond a challenge.  As my belly expands these last few weeks of pregnancy, it feels like our little world is getting smaller, the edges pulling tighter together, as we prepare our nest for the new boy.  Looking forward to those first sweet days of newborn fog... where day & night don't matter and time both flies by and creeps along depending on the moment.  Knowing this is the last baby makes it that much sweeter.... I know firsthand how fleeting this precious time can be. 

Fall has been a busy mix of school & routines and fun adventures.  Big brothers like to talk about the baby coming but have no idea how their world is about to be rocked.  Have been working on getting them to help each other with daily tasks in preparation for the many "please go fetch mommy a diaper/burpcloth/onesie" requests that are sure to arise.  Lately Remy has let me know he doesn't like it when I call him my baby anymore.  When I told him this morning that he will always be my baby, even when he is a grown-up man, he looked at me with his most serious face and said, "Don't talk like that Mommy.  It makes my brain all wiggly."  

Wiggly, indeed. 

The gray skies & light rains today are not keeping us from our planned adventure... we are bundling up, putting on rain boots & grabbing umbrellas to head off to the zoo.  Rainy days are one of the best times to actually see the animals out without any crowds to navigate.  And of course there is the hot cocoa afterward to take care of any chill.


A few random pix from the past weeks...

On our way to a friend's birthday in early October the boys decide to dress up as cowboys just for fun.

Pumpkin patch adventure

Attempts at a three-shot of my boys thwarted by surly 3 year old...

Children of the corn-maze

Favorite stop.. a huge sandbox filled with dried corn.

Remy's attempt at making a "corn-angel"

Found behind his ear about a half-hour later!

In preparation for the baby we have been clearing out storage... one of the buried treasures was this Ferrari pedal car.

Cowboy Quinn ready for school on Halloween

At Quinn's school Halloween parade...

Remy was planning on being a fire-fighter but changed his mind right before school... meet spiderman with his fireman boots on...

The boys were very much into trick-or-treating this year.  They both got the knock/say trick-or-treat/get candy deal after the first house.  We thought we would be out for maybe 20 minutes, half-hour max... an hour later, with candy sacks overflowing, we finally wrangled them back home.

Remy decided on a costume change for the evening... pirate boy slept with his sword that night.

Off to the zoo with my favorite monkeys...